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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Pilar_LoFitz's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
9:17 pm
I hope everyone is enjoying the New Year. Things are going well here, Martin has been busy at the police department and I have been working out of the Crane Recording Studio.

I am so excited, Kay and Maria are moving in with us! The house hasn't been the same since Paloma moved out, but this will be so much fun, I love spending time with them.

Today was my birthday, so Martin took me out for a romantic dinner, and he gave me a special present, a 24 karat gold ring. It looks exactly like the engagement ring that he gave me 25 years ago, which I am quite sure was stolen by one of the Crane security guards. Well I have to go now, I am watching little Marty this evening, it's Sheridan and Luis's anniversary.

Current Mood: happy
9:17 pm
I hope everyone is enjoying the New Year. Things are going well here, Martin has been busy at the police department and I have been working out of the Crane Recording Studio.

I am so excited, Kay and Maria are moving in with us! The house hasn't been the same since Paloma moved out, but this will be so much fun, I love spending time with them.

Today was my birthday, so Martin took me out for a romantic dinner, and he gave me a special present, a 24 karat gold ring. It looks exactly like the engagement ring that he gave me 25 years ago, which I am quite sure was stolen by one of the Crane security guards. Well I have to go now, I am watching little Marty this evening, it's Sheridan and Luis's anniversary.

Current Mood: happy
Monday, December 20th, 2004
8:26 pm
Hi all, sorry I haven't been on in a while, I have been very busy as of late. First of all, I wanted to let you know that my first CD is coming out on January, titled Vivo Solo. A record producer approached me when I made my debut at the Blue Note and offered me a contract. I work out of Crane Recording Studios, which is nice so I can stay close to my family. I have also been busy Christmas shopping for all of my friends and family, as well as shopping for a dress for Luis and Sheridan's upcoming wedding. I am really looking forward to this Christmas, since it will be the first one in 20 years that I will be spending with my Martin. I have been a little tense lately since Alistair's poisoning. Even though I am not guilty, I am still considered a suspect since I was there, which just makes me mad. I am almost 100% that wretched Katharine Crane is guilty, I tried to convince Sam Bennett, but he just won't believe me. Who do you all think tried to kill him? I am a religious woman so I know it is bad to wish somebody dead, but I really wouldn't care if Alistair dies, I think he deserves it. We had a private memorial service for Antonio yesterday at the Harmony cemetery. I bought a memorial marker that has his name on it, because even though we never found his body, Antonio will always live in his memory. Well I have to get ready for the Harmony Christmas Tree Lighting, see you all there!

Current Mood: drained
Thursday, November 11th, 2004
9:46 am
I am finally back, not really sure if anyone missed me. I just got back from Paris with Martin, I haven't been there since our honeymoon 28 years ago!

Martin and I are still together, and I have never felt happier. I just hope that my children will find the heart to forgive him.

Thank you all for coming to the memorial service for Antonio. Although we never found his body, I know that he is in a better place.

I got a phone call from Miguel today, apparently he proposed to Charity, and she said yes. I just hope that Kay doesn't find out, this is going to kill her.

I am making my debut at the Blue Note tonight, I hope you can all make it!

Current Mood: happy
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
4:46 pm
It's been a little lonely around here lately. Paloma went back to Mexico for a few weeks to visit her friends, Luis and Sheridan are on vacation in Boston, and Theresa is still in NY.

Theresa e-mailed me last night, she is going to court once again with Gwen, this time over the babies. Apparently, she is claiming Gwen tried to take them after they were born, saying they were hers. So tomorrow, there is going to be a hearing in a local court, and I am just praying that Gwen's aweful mother won't interfere this time.

Sheridan called me this morning from Boston, she just found out is pregnant again! This is just what she needed, she has never been the same since her baby died, but hopefully this should lift her spirits.

Speaking of Martin, we are back together again. No matter how bad it may seem that he ran away with Katherine Crane, I know in my heart that he never meant to hurt us. He flew back to Mexico last night to pack up the rest of his things, so he can move in with me! He says he has a romantic surprise for me, and I can't wait. I really haven't felt this happy in years.

Alistair Crane is still hanging on in the hospital, but his condition is still very serious. Apparently. Dr. Eve Russell is treating him, and actually removed the bullet herself right on the floor of the mansion. How she can find it in her heart the will to save such a horrible man is completely above me. Katherine is still sitting in jail, and I am afraid the poor woman will be sitting there for a very long time.

Current Mood: good
Friday, October 1st, 2004
4:41 pm
Can Things Get Any Worse?
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I just got a call from Whitney that Theresa is missing. She is nearly 9 months pregnant with twins, I just hope and pray that she is ok. I know Alistair must be behind it, I know how much he hates my family. I am still at the inn in Puerto Arena, but I should be flying into NYC sometime tomorrow to help in the search effort.

Martin called me on my cell phone, and offered to go to NYC to help us find Theresa. I agreed to let him come, he has done absolutely nothing for his children the last 18 years, so it is the least he can do. He also tried to talk me into getting back together with him, but I quickly changed the subject. As usual, all he had to talk about was his ex-lover Katherine Crane. That woman does have some guts though, because apparently, she pulled a gun on Alistair today and shot him right in the chest. He is now in the hospital in critical condition, I hate to be man, but it serves the man right. Katherine was arrested immediately and taken to the police station, and I don't think she will be leaving anytime soon.

Up until now, I was having a great time in Mexico. I don't know how Paloma is going to be able to get Little Ethan on the airplane, he has been having such a wonderful time. My grandson is such a smart little boy, my sisters and Paloma have been teaching him Spanish, and he is almost fluent! I just can't bare to tell him his mother missing, he loves her so much, he would be so devestated. I also haven't told Paloma her sister is missing, after finding about her father and worrying about me, I don't know how much else she can handle.

Sheridan and Luis, give me a call on my cell phone if you can, I haven't heard from you guys in a while, I hope everything is ok.

~Pilar~

Current Mood: stressed
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
4:14 pm
I had to cancel my trip to Boston. I woke up this morning with a nose bleed so bad that I had to call Whitney to drive me to the Emergency Room since I felt so faint. The doctors performed some tests and luckily, said I was ok, and I was sent home within a few hours.
Dr. Eve told me I can't be alone for the time being, so I will be flying down to Mexico for a few days to be with Paloma. Our phone number down there is 417-567-9276 if anyone wants to reach us.
Martin can't stop calling me, so I disconnected my answering machine, since I have no reason to talk to him.

Current Mood: gloomy
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
8:23 pm
Thanks to all for your support, it really means a lot to me and my family.

Not much happening today, worked 5 hours at the Blue Note, but it was the longest 5 hours of my life since I am just so miserable. I have never felt this depressed in my life since the day Martin disappeared.

I've decided to get away to Boston this weekend, I need some time to be alone since I am still in so much shock.

Martin called this afternoon, Katherine has apparently gone back to Alistair so he wants to get back together with me. I hung up the phone, since I am still so mad at him and I have absolutely no desire to see him ever again. How can he expect me to forgive him for running off like that? I also finally trashed that prayer candle that I have lighted every day for the past 18 years since it is meaningless now.

I've started to feel poorly again, probably all Martin's fault, so I made an appointment with Eve when I get back on Monday. When I got out of the hospital, Eve said I have to stay calm and take it easy since I am not completely well, but I am afraid it is too late and the disease has come back. I was supposed to be making my debut at the Blue Note on October 5th, but that is unlikely since I would not be surprised if I got re-admitted to the hospital.

Current Mood: cranky
12:02 pm
Martin confessed everything to me today. He kept denying who he was, but after being married to him for 12 years before he disappeared, I know it is him.
After I gave birth to Paloma, he lost interest in me and fell in love with Katherine Crane, the mother of Julian and Sheridan. They had an affair for about 4 months right behind my back, but then Alistair finally found out, so they knew they had to flee the country before he killed both of them. So they hired the Crane's personal doctor to do plastic surgery on both of them so nobody would recognize them, and they got a one way ticket to Mexico, where they got married and have been living for the past 18 years. What really sickens me is that my sister Maria has been in on the whole plot, and has allowed the two love birds to live in her hotel.
He kept apologizing me, claiming that he still loves me, but I just don't buy it. How can he just leave me to raise all of our children by myself so he could be with his lover in Mexico. What really shocked me was that of all the people he ran off with, it had to be Katherine Crane. I always thought she had been a good and loving mother who would never leave Sheridan and Julian, but never in my wildest dreams did I think she would still be alive. I can still remember the day she "died", the media made a huge deal about it, it was all over every newspaper in the world, and the memorial service was nationally televised. A wing of the Harmony Hospital and the Harmony Middle School were also. named in her honor
I have only told Paloma the news, I am afraid how my other children are going to react. Wow, what a mess this all is.
To take my mind off this mess, I have been singing. So far I have only sang for Maria and Little Martin, but my goal is to have my first performance at the Blue Note by sometime next month.
Speaking of Little Martin, I was watching him sleep the other night, he resembles his Aunt Sheridan so much. He has her eyes and mouth, but I don't know how this can be possible since he is Beth's son, it must have been my eyes playing tricks on me. I just feel so bad for Beth, she must be devestated about Sheridan and Luis.

Current Mood: pissed off
Friday, September 24th, 2004
11:01 pm
Today was probably the worst day of my life. The Wheelers, the nice couple who have helped raise my Paloma are none other than Katherine Crane and my husband, Martin Fitzgerald. All of these years, I believed that he had been kidnapped by Alistair and was being held hostage somewhere, but this is just my worst nightmare come to life. I am just so angry and horrified that I can't write anymore.

Current Mood: infuriated
Friday, September 17th, 2004
5:24 pm
I just got back from a job interview with Liz at the Blue Note. Eve has always told me such terrible things about her sister, but she seems so nice and friendly. I would absolutely love to work for her, so I am crossing my fingers!

While at the interview, I mentioned to Liz something that I have never told anybody before, that I have always wanted to become a singer. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved singing, but have never really had a chance to showcase my skill. Liz mentioned me she had a couple openings open for next month, nothing is scheduled as of yet, but I will keep you all posted!

Went out for dinner with Whitney and Theresa yesterday. I just feel so bad for Whitney with everything that has been happening to her lately, I just wish I could do something. Theresa's due date is quickly approaching, and I am so nervous, after watching Gwen and Sheridan lose their babies, I just hope the same thing won't happen to her.

My date went well yesterday. His name is Richard, and he is a lawyer, who Ethan knows. However, I don't think anything is going to happen between us. But I must confess, I do have a crush on Mr. Wheeler. Something about him reminds me of my Martin, but I feel so guilty saying this since he is married.

I am moving into my new condo tomorrow, and I am thrilled. After we were evicted from our house last year, I was so afraid that I was going to be homeless, but this is truly heaven. It will be a little weird living alone for the first time, but I know I can manage.

Well I have to go, I am going over to Luis and Sheridan's for a family dinner, I can't wait to see Little Ethan and Maria!

Current Mood: rejuvenated
Thursday, September 16th, 2004
7:55 pm
I'm out of the hospital now and living at the Crane mansion, but not for long. I just found a good deal on a condo right here in Harmony, brand new with a beautiful view of the water. Sheridan and Luis lent me the money, but I will most definitely pay them back once I get a job, which I am still looking for. If any of you know of any job openings please call me, I need one badly.
I hope everyone enjoyed the dinner last night, I hadn't cooked in months, but I wanted to do something nice for Luis and Sheridan since I am just so happy for them. It was also so nice to finally meet the Wheelers, they are a wonderful couple, but something about them is so familiar.
My friend Cecilia finally persuaded me to go on a date with one of her friends, this Friday night at the Lobster Shack. I wasn't sure at first since it has been years since I have been on one, but I know my children want to see me happy.
Well I have to go now, I am going out to lunch with Paloma.
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
8:52 pm
So much to do, so little time. I started making plans for the surprise dinner I am throwing that you are all invited to when everyone arrives home.
Dr. Eve says I will be out of the hospital by this Saturday, and I can't wait!
Miguel came to see me today with Maria today, she has gotten so big, it scares me to think we almost lost her. My friend Cecilia, who worked at the Crane estate with me also came by. She has been trying to get me to join a singles dating network for years, but I am just not interested, because I know in my heart Martin is still out there.
Luis also called me today, telling me that the nice couple who have been taking care of Paloma, the Wheelers, might be coming home with them. I have wanted to meet them for so many years, they have helped raised Paloma since she was a baby, I am just so grateful to them!
Monday, September 13th, 2004
8:57 pm
Hi
I am so excited for the wedding tomorrow, I can barely sleep! I hope you all will join me tomorrow to watch it.

My doctors say I should be hospital before Sheridan, Luis, and Paloma get back, which I
am absolutely thrilled about. Even though my doctors are against it, I want to cook a big dinner and throw a party at the Bed and Breakfast to celebrate their homecoming.

I started looking in the Help Wanted section today for a job, I want to be able to buy a brand new home for us all to live in, since we lost ours to the Cranes. I have an interview at a new restaurant to be a cook, I am just crossing my fingers that the Cranes won't interfere this time.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Saturday, September 11th, 2004
12:14 pm
Beth and her mother came to see me with my grandson, I just can't bear to tell her that Sheridan and Luis are getting married, she will be so heartbroken. Other than that it's been pretty quiet here at the hospital, I would love it if you all could come see me.
Oh my, a nurse just came in here and told me my daughter is in the hospital. Nothing serious, thank goodness, Gwen just wanted to check on her twins, which I still can't believe she's having.
Friday, September 10th, 2004
9:09 pm
Hi Everyone,
Today has been one of the best days of my life, I just found out my precious Paloma will finally be coming home from Mexico with Sheridan and Luis. She has been staying the last few years with my sister and a nice couple called the Wheelers, if only I could meet them in person, they seem so nice.
I am feeling a lot better, the doctors at Harmony Hospital have been so good to me. The minute Eve told me I had a blood disease I was so afraid I was going to die, I just can't bear the thought of having to leave my children behind.
Dios Mio, what a terrible year this has been for my family. I just hope and pray that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Current Mood: depressed
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